I share with people all the time that I’m not necessarily afraid of dying. My fear comes from not teaching my son all that I need him to understand before my time expires that is why it was Necessary to Blog.
We all have to die. It happens. We don’t know how long we have to live. We can be here today and gone tomorrow. We can wake up one morning perfectly healthy, have our breakfast, kiss our children and spouse on their cheeks, leave the house as we head off to work, and then later find ourselves in a horrible 100-car pileup. Or maybe we’ll have a heart attack while shoveling snow. Or find ourselves consumed in a horrible natural disaster. Worst, we may get shot and killed by some asshole terrorist or disgruntled worker as we are standing at the coffee pot with our co-workers discussing how awesome our weekend was.
It’s such a tragedy that workers at the Navy Yard had to die today, but my realist attitude, however harsh, tells me that things like this occurs–way more than many of us would like. It is sad, but such are the unfortunate things that we have to accept about life, whether we like it or not.
No amount of praying will bring the dead back, and it is my belief that no amount of praying can prevent my son from losing his father to an event like the one that occurred at the Navy Yard. I have been in that location before–twice, in fact. One of those days could have been today. To say that those who survived this tragic event are blessed is to suggest that the ones who lost their lives were–less blessed? So again, I live with the reality that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one, no matter how “blessed” one may believe they are.
And this is one of the main reasons why I blog. To preserve my thoughts.
Suppose I had died today and I didn’t have this blog? What would I leave behind for my son? He would be set financially, without a doubt, but what else would I leave him? There are way more important things in life than money.
While it is true that he and I have made great memories so far, memories fade. And over time, he would only remember vaguely the things that we have done and the ideas that I have shared with him.
There is an entire wealth of experiences that I want to gift to my son, some of them not yet age-appropriate, but important to his personal growth, nonetheless. How would I have shared information that is secured only with me? Sadly, I wouldn’t have been able to share it. I would be gone. And he would only have memories. Nothing concrete.
But I have left a small print in this world, so far. And as time goes on, he will be able to understand and maybe even relate to my stories and philosophies. I want him to know the good and the bad experiences that his father have had, including my divorce from his mother. I want him to know what his father thinks about the concept of truth, the importance of not compromising personal values when it comes to dating, when it’s logical for him to commit to a relationship with a woman, how to spend money guilt-free and still give a damn about tomorrow, and more importantly, that I screw up his life every day, because all parents do it to their children.
I want him to continually ask himself, what would he do if money was no object, and to then pursue it, and to live a lifestyle in which he would never get bored.
If I would have died, or if I were to die tomorrow, I would want him to understand how nutty his dad truly was, and that I couldn’t make up my mind whether or not I wanted to be in relationship after he and his mother divorced because I wanted my cake and to eat it, too, and more importantly, that I really enjoyed my wonderful feeling of psychological independence.
I would want my son to know that I wanted him to first question, and then strongly consider why he would ever want to have children, and to pick the right wife with whom he would make a long-term, lifetime commitment. And speaking of a wife, I would want my son to definitely understand the difference between being in-love and loving someone before committing to any woman for a lifetime, because all relationships should be long-term.
If I died today, none of my thoughts would be lost. My voice will live on through this blog until Word Press decides to erase them from its server.
Until WordPress makes such a decision, and until I die, I will continue to populate its servers with my stories that are available for him to print, share, and treasure for the rest of his life.
Blogging is not only therapeutic for me, it is a way to imprint my thoughts in this world. Some people are inspired by them, some merely passively accept them, and others reject them altogether. Either way, they are my thoughts that will carry on after I am dead, so that my son wouldn’t ever have to question who the man his Daddy was.
Don’t lose out on an opportunities to secure your own legacy. Start your life’s journal, free, at wordpress.com, or in some in-home journal. If not, you risk the lost of your life, now and forever after.