So, last night, out of the blue, I had a female friend call me whom I have not heard from in a while.
And by friend I mean:
We never had sex. And we had communicated that we would remain friends until I figure my sh*t out. She knew very well my relationship status of “wanting my cake and to eat it, too.”
Out of the blue means, I haven’t heard from her in SIX MONTHS…after no explanation as to why we stopped talking.
Here is the summary of what I had written on my post titled, “Are Women Capable of Being Anything But Selfish and Inconsiderate.”
I have a female “friend” who used to frequent this blog quite regularly. We probably have “known” each other for about two years. We used to have long exciting and fun phone conversations and video chat exchanges whenever we could. It was all in the name of friendship and nothing more. Once, I flew to Washington, DC to visit her.
On that visit we shared a fun night of conversation and dinner. Nothing more. A month later she told me that she was involved in a relationship. I was happy for her. We talked about her relationship for a few days, off and on, but then, eventually, our conversations were few and far between. I suppose that it is understandable. She has a new priority in her life.
However, what I don’t understand is why she has stopped commenting on this blog, and why she can’t even return a text messages that I sent her to inquire as to how things are going. I’m pretty sure she has seen the text message I sent. The last time I sent one she waited twelve days to respond. Now, it has been approximately eighteen hours. Inconsiderate? Of course, it is.
As of yesterday, before her call, I had already shrugged her off after I wrote that post.
I was quite SURPRISED. Seriously.
Her first words…
“Hey, stranger. Do you know who this is?
Of course I knew who it was.
I quickly got into the discussion as to what happened.
She said she doesn’t remember the events as I wrote them above.
In my head I’m like…sure…whatever.
BUT, the fact that she called me to talk through it means…I don’t know. I really don’t know how to feel.
After we talked for about an hour and a half, I’m still feeling some type of way. I just can’t put my hands around it.
YOU be the judge. As you guys know, I’m a pretty cynical guy.
Here is my perspective on what happened to my blogger friend, even though she says that it didn’t happen this way:
She got a boyfriend. This I found out in December.
As far as I remember, we still talked and sent text messages. After the boyfriend, and because she was studying for an important professional exam, I remember these being few and far between.
Eventually, they slowed down and I would send random text messages such as, “I hope all is well, how is your studying going?”
Whatever my text messages were, I think they all solicited for some type of response.
Eventually, the responses to text messages stop. I remember feeling weird about it since we had been friends since about June 2011.
So, I decided that maybe she was too busy. Whatever. Right?
Then, at the same time that I was going through the situation that I wrote about in the “selfish” post, I noticed that it was twelve days since she last responded to me.
It wasn’t that I was counting the number of days that we hadn’t communicated like some crazy serial killer stalker, it was just me going through my phone twelve days later seeing that I didn’t get a response from the last message that I had sent.
So, this is when I made ONE CALL, as I remember, and left a voice mail asking her to return my call. I got nothing.
I sent my last text message. Got nothing.
Eighteen hours later, I wrote the blog post above.
I concluded that she did what the majority of females do when they want to avoid confrontation…back away from a relationship with not much of an explanation.
That’s my bias based on not only my own but the experiences of some of my friends, too.
I accepted it. I moved on. I shrugged it off.
Last night, she calls me…six months later, which just so happens to be a day after reading a post on her favorite blogger’s site www.nevblog.com that showed a picture of he and I hanging out.
In the call, she mentions that she saw me hanging out with one of her favorite bloggers.
This is what I think.
I changed my blog’s domain since the last time she and I had talked so, I doubt if she learned about it from my blog.
Any way. Back to Neville.
She tells me that she idolizes this guy.
Like I said, his blog post had a link to my site.
THIS IS PURELY CYNICAL SPECULATION FROM HERE ON….
She starts thinking…whoa…I know someone who knows the person whom I idolize.
She goes…damn, I got to get in good, so,
She goes on my site to see if I was pissed at what happened between her and I.
She finds that I wrote the blog post that mentions her.
Of course, in this post, I didn’t hold back.
She thinks to herself…conflict…conflict.
I’ll call him to say, “hey, I was just giving you some time.”
CYNICAL SPECULATION ENDS…
After I asked her what made her call she told me that she was just “giving me some time.” It just so happens to be AFTER Neville’s blog post about #fincon13.
I’m like, WTF, six months of TIME?
She says, “well, yeah.”
I’m thinking to myself…whatever. (Still didn’t know how to feel…even after we spent 30 minutes discussing why I thought her rendition of what took place and the length of time it took for her to call was flawed.)
She says that she stopped calling and contacting me because of the post…even though she had stopped commenting on my blog way before I wrote it.
I’m like…if your version is true…why wouldn’t you call me and say, “look, we’ve been friends for 2 years. Why would I be the person that you wrote about? You’re an ASSHOLE that likes to jump to unreasonable conclusions, Romeo. Go f$ck yourself”
After all, we were friends.
BUT, she goes…because I figured you needed the space.
Why didn’t YOU call me to discuss how you were feeling before writing your post? To which I answered, I DID. And left a voice mail. haha
Then…she puts me in a deadlock by saying, “well, you know. I never received your calls. I didn’t get a voice mail. I MAY have not replied to a text after 18 hours but, definitely not after 12 days. I never received a text from you. Besides, you could have sent an email to make sure I wasn’t ignoring you. This way you could have had evidence that you tried to contact me via email.
I’m like…hmm…f$ck…I guess you got me. You’re right. It’s possible…(because I’m a person that assumes that all people have good intentions and no reason to lie).
Therefore, I apologized for jumping to the assumption that she ignored my calls and text messages…even though I’m sure, but not positive at this point, that I left a voice mail for her, trying to figure out why she stopped calling me.
Still. It’s RIDICULOUSLY WEIRD.
Here’s the real shocker that has me writing this post, which I’m sure she will read.
Our conversation concluded with her saying, in a paraphrasing summary, ”hey let’s meet up. Because you came to visit me last time, I’ll come visit you.”
I say…umm…sure. Veteran’s day is right around the corner. This was last night.
Guess what was in my email inbox this morning?
An electronic copy of a plane ticket for her to visit me from the 9th to 12th of November.
Again, I don’t know how to feel. Or what to think.
Self-interest? Genuinely misses me? Who knows?
BTW, she broke up with her boyfriend about 3 months ago.
I definitely need my readers take on this situation.
Please. HELP. What are your thoughts?
My mine is racing one-hundred miles per hour.
Stranger Things Have Happened. I Guess?